The Carribbean, Flossing, and The Bedroom Mirror

In 1492 Columbus landed in the Caribbean mistaking it for India. As proof of his discovery he returned with a chicken masala meal for one, a singing snake, and a ventriloquist named Americo. The Europeans became obsessed with discovering civilisations, places, and practices in existence for thousands of years. They became fond of sailing, and the “World Cruise” was born.

Although agriculture was practiced in central and southern America for thousands of years, the Europeans showed the indigenous peoples how to make more food than they could eat. Also, how to make a profit. The Europeans soon discovered that guns and swords were unnecessary to control the population. Smallpox, measles, and the flu were faster, and did not involve night raids. Silver from the mines was a driving motive of Spanish colonisation. It helped that the “Conquistadors” had an unpronounceable name, and looked like Cubans.

The slave trade proved a valuable lesson to the Portuguese, British, French, Spanish, and Dutch. While exploiting the silver mines, and agricultural plantations, the Europeans discovered an important working practice. It was more cost effective to work people to death, and replace them, than improve their working conditions. This “principle” is still advocated today in most “best-selling” management books, human resource departments, organisations, companies, and military dictatorships around the globe.

A few weeks ago a young lady conducting a survey asked me how often I flossed my teeth. I said about 200 times a day, which left me little time to eat. She was strikingly good-looking, with long, black hair, and violet blue eyes. She laughed."You're crazy". She thanked me for contributing, and said, "Have a lovely evening".

I watched her cross the road. She waved and smiled. The extraordinary thing is that my answer to the question affected my behaviour. I started using about 45-50 metres of floss a day. Then I decided to purchase a Dental Floss Threader as I wear braces - if I don't wear braces my trousers fall down. Anyway, I'm on the look-out for someone conducting a "sex survey". If I start to act in accordance with the grandiloquent and boastful answers I intend to give, I shall have to exercise thoroughly, eat healthier food, and stop worrying why I have a flashlight on my bedside table, and a tape that constantly repeats, "I am simply not there".

My bedroom mirror confirmed - in writing (when did it learn French?) - that I have a "pot belly" which grows larger by the day. Must be the soil, the weather, or my left buttock is playing up again. I must make a strenuous effort to get rid of this unsightly extra mass. Its constant recital of Newton's laws of motion are tiring. Furthermore, it's physically, and emotionally, tiring dragging a great, heavy body around all day, so I've decided from now on to leave the wife at home when I venture out.

Reflections: I know - I think I know - about dinosaurs despite never having met one (not while sober, anyway). I suppose it's just information passed from generation to generation. In the West we tend to accrue a vast amount of knowledge about abstract words like "truth," "justice," "freedom," etc., and to worry about things we shall never know, no matter how hard we look, or by seeking the advice and knowledge of others'.

People from different cultures think about things differently, and perhaps that is the way the world has existed, and shall continue to do so. Who has the right to say the worldview of an individual, or a culture, is wrong if it does not intrude in the lives of others' causing physical, mental, spiritual harm?

Maybe we should just enjoy life as it happens - each minute - and try to shelve all worry, concern, and beliefs we have no control over, which may, paradoxically, control our lives to the detriment of our well-being. The solution sounds simple, but remains difficult to put into action. A human fallibility, but strong and destructive, nonetheless.